Why Man Cannot Quit Porn Alone

By Conquer Series

5 Comments

Most men like to feel independent. They want to believe that they can handle any situation on their own, from fixing a leaky faucet to solving a complex problem and like their attempt to  quit porn.

That may be true in many instances. But even the television and movie producers in Hollywood know that one man alone is rarely as effective as a team.

The Lone Ranger had Tonto. Batman had Robin. The X-Men were a group of men with special individual abilities.  The Marvel series featuring comic book characters show teamwork.

All of these heroes need someone else to help them succeed. There is great value in joining with others to overcome obstacles.

The same is true in defeating pornography. You may have convinced yourself that you can quit porn all by yourself. Your male ego refuses to let you believe you need help from other men.

Let me be clear – you cannot quit porn alone. Michael Leahy, founder of BraveHearts, says that only one addict in ten thousand finds lasting recovery without a support community.

It’s vitally important that you become involved with a recovery accountability group to quit porn. Forming strong relations with men who share your struggle (and victory) is a powerful weapon in your journey to freedom from porn.

Mark Denison, founder of There’s Still Hope, said,

“Recovery is relational. No book can ever be an effective substitute for time spent with others on the same journey.”

Can’t I Just Have One Accountability Partner?

Accountability works best in a group. A supportive team of Christian men offers a caring and supportive way to find recovery.

According to Mark Brouwer, a trainer and expert in sex addiction and recovery,

“All addictions are terribly isolating, and sexual struggles are the worst. The shame keeps us from being honest, and the time it takes pulls us away from developing friendships.”

Dr. Adam Moore, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explains, “Learning to reach out to people who are stable, available, safe, and committed to your recovery is important to your own healing. We are all wired for human connection, and being isolated from others makes healing difficult, if not impossible.”

Proverbs 11:14 tells us “many advisers make victory sure.” And James 5:16 says,

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

An Important Perspective

If you think that by participating in an accountability group means that the men are there to make you better, you need to change your thinking.

Peter Mahaffey of Strength To Fight writes:

“The majority of people think accountability as having someone keep you accountable. That is not the biblical understanding of accountability. Accountability is making yourself accountable to others. In other words, the responsibility is upon you to share with others how you are doing. The responsibility is on you to share if you are feeling tempted. The responsibility is on you to confess that you have sinned. You will not stand before God and justify yourself by saying: “but my friends didn’t check up on me.” You are responsible to make yourself accountable.”

The men in your group are there because they personally know about the devastating effects porn can have on a man’s life. They are not there to tear you down; they are there to build you up.

But to be most valuable, you must be open to complete disclosure and openness about your porn addiction. Your Christian brothers are available and willing to help in any way they can, but you have to commit to full participation.

“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Why You Need To Join An Accountability Group

Realize the seriousness of your porn addiction. Besides risking your own mental and spiritual health, you are risking your marriage, family relationships, your job, and so many areas of your daily life.

Do you really think your porn addiction is worth the possibility of destroying everything?

The answer is obvious. But you will not be able to experience freedom from your bondage to porn by yourself. You need a band of brothers to fight with you.

Dr. Moore said,

“This process is not just about abstinence or stopping certain behaviors. This is about real change that affects every area of life.”

Forest Benedict, author and licensed therapist, notes, “Groups provide a safe context in which we can learn to trust again. It is in groups that we get to practice connecting with others, possibly for the first time in our life…The miracle of recovery occurs when love begins to fill us in a way that lust never could.”

It is in a group setting that you will be reminded that God really does love you just as you are. And your group will embrace you and fight your porn battle with you every step of the way.

Dr. Ted Roberts is the founder of Pure Desire Ministries and the host of a powerful cinematic small group study called the Conquer Series. He explains,

“You were wounded in community therefore you have to be healed in community.”

Join A Conquer Group Now

You can join a porn accountability group right now. Many churches are using the Conquer Series, preparing to run groups this Fall. The 12-DVD lessons are helping over 750,000 men find victory over pornography.

So check with your church to find out if they already have Conquer Groups. If so, they will be glad to get you connected.

But if your church isn’t running a group you can sign up for a local or online Conquer Group right now and take the first step toward a porn-free life.

Churches interested in starting a Conquer Group can order the Conquer Series and review it with a 14-day money back guarantee.


The Conquer Series is a powerful cinematic series which is helping over 1 million men conquer porn and walk in freedom.


Get started, and order the Conquer Series today.


5 Replies to “Why Man Cannot Quit Porn Alone”

  1. Steve  October 5, 2018

    The deception that the enemy uses so skillfully in such shameful sin is that unless we are with a group of men, or with a counselor, or with an accountability partner, we are going at this alone. That deception is a lie. When a man believes he is alone he is truly vulnerable. The truth that set me free was not the Conquer Series, it was not “Every Man’s Battle” or any other “method”. It was the simple, yet profound revelation that Romans 8:13 means exactly what it says…and is 100% trustworthy and reliable. “For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if BY THE SPIRIT you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.” (emphasis mine)

    I’ll never forget the night in Las Vegas when the Holy Spirit invaded my addiction and “put to death” the deeds of my body. From that night almost 5-years ago, I have been gloriously free from an addiction that I had pretty much accepted as “my cross to bear.”

    You may say that I’m the “one in ten thousand” that is mentioned in the article, but that is not truth. When Jesus, by the power of the Holy Spirit, delivered the demoniac in Mark 5, I’m so thankful that He didn’t tell this poor suffering addict that it would take 3-5 years to be free, or that he would need an accountability group, or even a well-constructed DVD series! When Jesus delivers a man, by the power of the Holy Spirit, the man is “free indeed!” John 8:36

    I have led a group through the Conquer Series and I’d be happy to share my observations with anyone who is interested in hearing our experience. True freedom will only be found when men and women begin to put their faith in the One who is the true Sin-Killer…the Holy Spirit who indwells every true believer.

    I ask men, “Do you want to manage your sin, or kill your sin?” If you want to manage your sin, there are many programs, but there is only one Sin-Killer and His name is the Holy Spirit!

    I typically keep my mouth shut, but by telling suffering men that they will only find freedom in a group of men, or with a counselor or with an accountability partner, you disregard the only One who can truly deliver them. Their Accountability Partner that is with them 24hrs/day, 365 days/year…even when they are actively viewing porn…for He will never leave us nor forsake us…BUT, we have to put our faith where the power resides, not in the ways of man, no matter how religious or scriptural they may sound.

    • J Marshall  October 8, 2018

      It is true that our deliverance comes through faith alone in Christ alone. However, God created us as relational beings. He never intended us to be hermits or to isolate ourselves from one another. When Christ healed the demoniac, he did not tell him to remain living a solitary life in the graveyard. Rather, he told him to relate to others by sharing what God had done for him. We are a family, building blocks in God’s Temple. We cannot function as Christ’s Body apart from relating to one another. We must also understand that salvation is both instantaneous and progressive. We are immediately saved from the penalty of sin – justification. We are being saved from the power of sin – sanctification. So, in some cases “freedom” may take 3-5 years. We are to mentor and disciple one another in order to bring all believers to maturity in Christ – sanctification.

    • Justin  April 24, 2019

      Walk in faith, brother, mindful of God’s Law.

  2. Ek  October 21, 2018

    Where are all the groups for women? If you think the shame and guilt are bad for men, try being a woman with a lust addiction. The women’s groups are judgmental and they don’t understand since they are usually trying to avoid sex. Men’s groups are “inappropriate” and so there are no accountability groups in churches for women. If recovery can’t happen without community, then it explains why recovery is so difficult for women since no one in the church is addressing this issue for women. I believe the churches are woefully unprepared for the generations of women growing up with sex/lust addiction. The effects will become more pronounced in the church as time passes. Unfortunately our society loves women with lust/sex problems and no one is in a hurry to help them get healthy. The sick men pursue them, the healthy men avoid them and women hate/judge them.

    • Conquer Series  March 21, 2019

      Hi Ek,

      Thank you for your honest feedback! We completely agree that there is a great need for women to find healing from lust, pornography, or sexual addiction issues. We have been made aware of churches who have started to utilize the Conquer Series for the women of their church, and they are seeing many chains being broken as a result of that choice.

      In the future, there may be plans for us to release a film series specifically for women. If you’d prefer to have a study that was written specifically for women, I would encourage you to check out the Eight Pillars of Freedom workbook study created by Pure Desire Ministries.

      -Kayla

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