How To Disciple Men Into Leaders

By Luke Gibbons

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Most church leaders would agree they face a constant problem of finding men who are willing to get involved. Not just in leadership positions, but in many roles within the church.

But the need for strong leaders continues to grow. We can’t expect the pastor and elders to carry the spiritual and functional loads all by themselves. The church needs men to help fulfill its mission to represent Jesus Christ on Earth.

Research by Pure Desire Ministries shows that 68% of church-going men view pornography. Men in the midst of that struggle are dealing with shame. They think, “How could I possibly lead when I struggle with this?”

If churches are going to deal with the leadership shortage, then it has to start with helping these men find lasting freedom. The leaders who are struggling will become more effective. Moreover, the men who have previously felt too ashamed to even get involved, will begin to step out in boldness and start leading other men.

The Least of These

Perhaps you think that because you struggle with pornography that you are disqualified from being active in your congregation.

Throughout the Bible, God proves that He can use anyone for His purposes. He used an adulterer (David), a murderer (Moses), a terrorist (Paul), and a long list of others who had things in their lives they needed to overcome.

But they repented, turned from their sins, and were used by Him to do amazing things. He can do the same for anyone in bondage to pornography also.

Some of the greatest leaders are those who have had significant failures or overcome big obstacles. They are able to help others through those same difficult times and relate to them on a level most other people never could.

So it’s time for you to get in the game at your church.

10 Traits Of A Great Leader

  1. Humility – A leader is humble.  He doesn’t try to use authority or position for personal advantage or to build his ego. His goal is to create an environment where people can feel free to participate without feeling intimidated.
  2. Growing in your own walk with Jesus – You cannot emanate what you do not have. A godly leader will maintain an active prayer-life, consistent reading and study of the Bible, and staying faithful to following Christ.
  3. Recognizes the value in people – Leaders interact with people from all walks of life. Many of them are dealing with heavy issues. Everyone has value and should be respected and treated with the same compassion Jesus showed all people.
  4. Must be humble – Pride has no place in a leader’s heart. People will quickly abandon a leader who makes them feel inferior or belittled. You are leading a team, and you should try to encourage and develop every person to be the best they can be.
  5. Be accessible and approachable – As a church leader, you cannot simply hide in an office or turn off your cellphone. You need to be accessible and encourage an environment where someone can walk up to you and talk freely.
  6. Be a servant – A godly leader realizes that his first goal is to model the servant example of Jesus. Instead of issuing commands and ordering people around, you should always be looking for ways you can help others and meet their needs.
  7. Be sincere – Pretending you care about someone never works. People will know if you don’t deeply care about them. Take the time to get to know them and their situation so you can give proper counsel to them.
  8. Be a good listener – Don’t just ‘hear’ people, ‘listen’ to them. If you only hear the words and are not actively trying to communicate, you will lose respect and credibility as a leader and will miss a lot of information that you need to help them.
  9. Stay Connected – Stay in contact with people throughout the week, especially if you are leading a small group. Use wisdom in how much contact is appropriate, but if you only connect with someone on Sunday morning, it is difficult to build a meaningful relationship with him.
  10. Don’t be afraid to say “I don’t know” – Nobody expects you to have all the answers to every question. If you don’t know something, tell them you will find the answer and get back to them. People will respect you for wanting to give them accurate information instead of guessing at an answer.

Obviously, there are many other traits that good leaders have. That said, if you can master these then you will have a good foundation.

A Tool To Help Men Become Leaders

The Conquer Series is a powerful, cinematic small group study that will not only help you with your struggle with pornography, but can also contribute to developing you as a leader. Maybe you, in time, could even become a Conquer Series small group leader so you can help others.

Several years ago, I went through discipleship training for a Franklin Graham Event. One of the questions asked during the training was, “How do you know when you have discipled someone enough that you can start to step back?” The answer: “When they start discipling others.” The same is true for leaders. Frequently, men share that after going through the Conquer Series, they start leading it. For example, James Craft shares,

“I was able to understand the healing that God wanted for me, and then I received it. And then I applied it. And then I was able to live it. You know the great thing about this, now I lead them, and I’ve seen hundreds of men go through the Conquer Series discovering what I first discovered…”

By watching the DVDs and discussing them with other men who are fighting the same battle, you will build relationships and gain respect and confidence that will equip you for leadership roles throughout the church.

Sean Winship of Ashland City, Tennessee wrote,

“I have been in church the last twelve years, and have tried everything I could think of to get a grip on my sexual addiction, but it just got worse and worse. Finally, God brought me to a place where I was introduced to the Conquer Series and I have been 100% sober ever since!… This year I will be leading at least one Conquer Series group, and I can see God asking me to coach other men in leading groups in their local church.”

The Conquer Series is helping almost one million men around the world overcome their struggle with pornography. Each DVD uses action-packed military segments, solid Biblical teaching, and powerful testimonies.

A journal and study guides are available to help keep you focused on the lessons throughout the week. They also offer specific steps that help you maintain your sobriety and avoid relapsing.

Talk to your church leaders about ordering the Conquers Series so all your men can view it, or you can order it for individual study.

Either way, order the Conquer Series today to begin your path to a porn-free life and a strong church leader.


The Conquer Series is a powerful cinematic 12-disc DVD series which is helping over 1 million men conquer porn and walk in freedom.


Get started, and order the Conquer Series today.