How Do I Stop Watching Porn?

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How Do I Stop Watching Porn?

Man in thought

A how to guide to stop watching porn. If only it was that easy!

I remember the day before I went to rehab, scribbling down my objective for the next 6 weeks. “Stop watching porn.”

I soon realised it wasn’t going to be that simple, and I guess I wasn’t the only one.

Consider the results from a national survey of churches: 68% of regular male attendees and 30% of the female demographic are reported to be viewing porn on a regular basis.

This statistic has grown with the global spread of tablets and smartphones, which are now like biological appendages of the human body.

In our shame and guilt, we seek ways to escape this problem, often resulting in repeated attempts to try harder to resist pornography, before eventually falling into a binge-purge cycle.

Either way, we find ourselves failing to break free, so we cover up, finding ways to protect our darkest secrets. Characteristics of shame, guilt, and isolation emerge that pull us away from community and our relationship with God.

So how do you actually stop watching pornography?

It’s All For Nothing Without Grace

I had framed my objective to “stop watching porn,” incorrectly. I was always going to fail. I was just setting myself up to try harder, and fight against my brain, which simply doesn’t work. I had to shift from “stop watching porn,” to “start finding freedom.” Where do we find freedom? In Christ!

We have to understand God’s Grace and receive it in the very depths of our soul. What does that mean? Grace is God at work, bringing us back to Himself through what Jesus did on the cross when we don’t have a shot.

It is understanding that despite the way we have been living, God is still waiting with arms open to pick us up, dust us off and carry us through. It can’t be earned or bought, it is freely given.

When you receive God’s Grace, it will start to deal with the shame and broken identity that have held you in bondage for so long.

Understanding the Problem

Traditionally in the church, we have only seen pornography as a moral problem—a simple issue of right and wrong.

While this might be where it starts, the reason we can’t stop watching pornography stems from a brain problem.

“Any type of repetitive behavior will create trails in our brain that are going to fire on an automatic sequence.” – Neuropsychologist Dr. Tim Jennings in the Conquer Series

Watching pornography is tied to sexual bondage; it’s a trap and victims have been lulled into a comfort zone.

“Sexual bondage is not about sex, it’s about how you’ve learned to medicate the pain in your life. Once you start facing this, your pain level is actually going to go up. Because you’ve been medicating that pain for so long, you’ll have to put your big boy pants on and you’ll have to face the pain. This is going to challenge you as a man more than anything you have ever done in your life.” – Dr Ted Roberts, host of the Conquer Series

Trying harder to stop simply doesn’t work. So, the question remains, “how do I stop watching pornography?”

God has given us all the tools we need by his grace to embrace this struggle for integrity. In these tools, we’re able to break denial structures, see with clarity and wisdom the truth of sexual bondage, and unveil its damage to our souls and the people around us.

Recognising the real damage of pornography

For single or married men, the damage is epic.

For married men, it’s more obvious. As seen in the cinematic Conquer Series, neuropsychologist Dr Tim Jennings explains that pornography is an addiction that “[impairs your connectivity with your spouse, increases likelihood of infidelity, and of course leads to shame, guilt, and isolation].”

In essence, it’s cheating on your wife.

“But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” – Matthew 5:28

When we hear these words, how many of us are able to really digest what Jesus is saying?

We must have the renewal of the mind to understand that in the intent to view pornography, our heart is showing the nature of an adulterer, brought on by the need to feed the addiction and medicate the hurt; a brain problem that overrides any sense of morality (right and wrong).

For single men, the impact of watching pornography can be a little more challenging to comprehend as we don’t have a physical person of which to see the hurt caused by watching pornography. However, the internal and external isolation created by the effort to keep the secret of watching pornography, will have visible impacts on our behaviour as well as our relationship with God.

Our image of God Himself is clouded over because pornography gets into the heart of man.

“[Pornography and other sexual sins] can get into a man’s heart to the place where it replaces God…It becomes an idol. And how do you know it’s an idol? When you’re in pain, you go to your idol. When you’re in need, you go to your idol. When you’re hurt, you go to your idol. When you want to celebrate, you go to your idol.” – Dr Doug Weiss in the Conquer Series

Finding accountability

I was once asked, what is the difference between relying on an accountability group and relying on God. The truth is, they aren’t mutually exclusive.

God wants us to find accountability with our brothers in Christ as a standard way of life in His Kingdom.

Whilst accountability groups may seem like an abnormal concept to the world—only used by desperate alcoholics and drug addicts—they are actually normal to God’s sovereignty for all issues we may be facing as individuals.

Part of the many benefits of ‘loving relationship’ or the Body of Christ is to be accountable to our brothers (and sisters) in the Lord, which means transparency, vulnerability, walking in the light, speaking truth, loving one another with compassion, edification of each other, and no condemnation.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:27

But how do we ensure that we have a healthy accountability group? So many accountability groups meet every week, and one by one the men confess, “I’ve failed this week.” These men are desperate for a way to break the cycle. For any accountability group to be effective it has to include a process to help men get well.

Help is Here

Transformation is key to walking in freedom and purity and the Conquer Series was created specifically for that purpose.

This powerful cinematic DVD series includes Biblical tools and proven strategies that help men to renew a mind that’s hooked on porn and find freedom. As men go through the series, they realise, it isn’t just about “how to stop watching porn,” but how to start living life.

Over 450,000 men in more than 65 countries have started the journey to freedom through the Conquer Series.

For those who have been seeking a sincere, real way to stop the cycle, Conquer Series is here with expert guidance from pastors and doctors who are winning the battle against porn.

Start your journey to freedom and order the Conquer Series today.

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