Finding Healing Behind Bars: A Letter From An Inmate
Around 9% of prisoners in the US are incarcerated due to sex related crimes. Unfortunately, very few prisons have any kind of successful program to help these inmates find freedom. Thankfully, there are people like Dr. Christine Robbins who are working hard to get the Conquer Series into prisons and help men gain victory in the battle. Dr. Robbins recently sent us this powerful testimony from Russell, one of the men she has led through the Conquer Series.
My crime against an innocent is one that will haunt the victim for the rest of his natural life.
I was horrified at my sentencing when the judge made this statement:
“You took your victim’s life away in a sense, and now in a sense, I’m taking yours. You are hereby sentenced to the term of forty-eight years.”
At the time I was forty-one years old. Add the years of my sentence. I will be eighty-nine, should I live that long, when I walk beyond these prison walls. Justice had been dealt.
My realization that I had a more than serious problem with my sexuality, did not hit me until it was too late.
I knew then I needed help and even requested the assistance of my victim. To this day, I thank him for having the courage to bravely stand up and cry out, thus ending my reign of sexual depravity.
This all took place in 1998. Here I sit, nineteen years later thanking God for His grace and His mercy.
“It is good that I have been afflicted, that I might learn thy statutes” Psalm 119:71
For the last 15 years I have eagerly sought to extinguish the flame of the sexual desires that raged within me. It took me a few years to learn that in order to put out a fire; the source of fuel must first be cut off. Once the fire is out, it must be watched because there are usually hot spots that may cause the fire to burst forth once more into a raging inferno. I had to become my own fireman.
Within Dept. of Corrections there are no maintenance programs to aid people with sexual disorders. One must come to terms with his problem(s) and take on his own fight. How one fights can only be determined by how much one wants to be victorious. With diligence, programs and information can be found outside of prison walls.
I like to have as much information as possible on any one subject before I commit. For my problem, all I needed was a direction in which to focus on what caused the fire to ignite with me and how do I extinguish it.
Inmates with sexual charges in prison are treated severely different than any other prisoners. They have a lower standing than those who have multiple murders on their sentence. When an inmate attempts to establish any form of self-help group, staff considers it only to be an excuse for perverts to get together in order to excite themselves to achieve sexual gratification. We are treated as “lepers” by other inmates. Staff openly exposes to other inmates those who are incarcerated because of sexual crimes. We are forever tormented by inmates, staff, and the demons from within.
Because of such treatment, a majority of those incarcerated for sexual crimes will never venture out to seek the help of programs or services they desperately need. This persecution drove my quest for positive results underground. I had to secretly seek the people, places, and organizations that were already in the fight to help men like myself take the positive, responsible steps toward healing, forgiveness, and redemption.
Prior to getting involved with the Conquer Series, I had already amassed considerable knowledge of a process that would not happen overnight. “Broken Yoke Ministries,” “Safer Society,” “Prisoners Web Ministries,” “SATASORT,” and “Pure Life” are only a few of the organizations that I reached out to. They aided me in the comprehension of my unnatural and un-Godly disorder. I must add here that as I was seeking answers to my human problem, I was just as eagerly seeking the aid of my newly discovered Lord and Savior, Jesus the Christ.
Without the prayers and the begging of God for help and His direct intervention, I would have been left powerless in my battle. All the praise and glory must go to God the Father.
So where does the Conquer Series come in? Dr. C Robbins and Hebrews 13:1-3. Without Dr. Robbins’ commitment to this informative series and her love for the healing power of Jesus, I would never have had the opportunity to experience the impact of the information provided by Dr. Ted Roberts and a host of others through the Conquer Series.
I had come a long way in my progressive journey and the battle was victorious in destroying the demonic force that once controlled my sexual depravity.
Even though the war was won on that front, I still remained a human being with sexual desires at every turn. I was disgusted with myself when I failed at maintaining sexual purity.
Along comes the Conquer Series curriculum and its comprehensive teaching on purity. My addiction has been conquered, but I was failing to maintain God’s standard of purity. The series allowed me to identify the strongholds in my life that rested in the gray matter that God gave each of us called a brain. Within a small group setting I am able to ask the hard questions that need to be asked to like-minded men who share in my struggles and concerns.
Though I have had the privilege to encounter numerous programs, the Conquer Series has given me more information and tools to work with than any other. It has made me confident that I can be a Conqueror over my life and become the person God intended me to be.
R.B. July 2017
Russell is now working to complete a Master’s Degree in Theology and training to be a group facilitator for the Conquer Series.
The Conquer Series is a cinematic DVD series that is used by churches in over 65 countries around the world to help men conquer porn and find freedom in Christ. We don’t have to wait until men commit a crime and end up in prison, or destroy their families before we give them the sexual discipleship they’re crying out for. Will you encourage your church to run the Conquer Series this Fall? Order the Conquer Series Today.
If you are already using the Conquer Series in your church, you might consider extending this ministry and ordering the Series for a local Prison.