From Victim to Victor: Rediscovering Your Identity in Christ

By Kayla Sullivan

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“I am not good enough.”

Sitting across the table from a beloved friend, I could not believe my own ears.  This person had everything going for them in life, or so it seemed.  Despite all of it, they could not shake the feeling that they lacked in every area of their life.  Their attempts at success seemingly had proved futile.  After all, they didn’t get the promotion they had been pining for.  The recent behavior of their children caused them to believe that they were failing as a parent.  And even their marriage seemed to be on shaky ground.

As the conversation evolved, I quickly realized that this was not a momentary affliction.  It honestly had little to do with the present circumstances.  Instead, my friend has believed the lie about not being good enough for as far back as could be remembered.

Lie-Based Identity

Truth be told, we all have moments in life where we feel as if we just don’t measure up.  The lie may not always be that we’re not good enough.  Sometimes, it could be that you cannot fit in.  Some people feel rejected and unloved.  Maybe you even believe that you are worthless, stupid, or simply a lost cause.  Whatever it is, it is a lie – straight from the enemy.  It’s a lie that you perceive to be the truth.

The enemy loves to implant lies during moments of pain, failure, and disappointment.  Playing on our emotions, he whispers lies into our ears which we hold onto as truths.  Our brain revisits these truths often.  Before we know it, the identity that we’re operating out of is not our God-given identity.  Instead, it’s defined by our experiences and what others have said about us.

We never fully experience life when we’re operating out of a lie-based identity.

The Conquer Series a 10-week cinematic study for men desiring to break free from the struggle with pornography.  In this series, Dr. Doug Weiss highlights the damage that is done when your identity is misaligned with who God says you are.

“When you believe you’re bad, you’ll push love and help away.  You won’t feel worthy of the blessings of God, then you’ll act like you’re worthless; and worthless people make different decisions than people who believe their worth, because of what Christ did.”

Eventually, the pain you’re carrying around spills over into other areas of your life.  Unhealthy patterns and habits may begin forming as you seek to numb the pain.  According to Pure Desire Ministries, 68% of men in the Church find themselves turning to pornography.

The Wounded Identity & Christianity

Now you might be thinking, “How does a good Christian man end up struggling with porn?”  The answer is simple.

When a person gives their life to Christ, they experience the newness in the spirit that Christ died to provide.  But the past lingers.  The memories are still there.  The pain is still present.

Accepting Christ does not produce amnesia.  And truth be told, even after we pray the sinner’s prayer, the view that we have of God can still be tainted by our experiences with our own earthly father.

For a significant number of men struggling with pornography, they have been deeply wounded in life.  The absence of a parent in one’s life can lead to feelings of neglect or rejection.  Witnessing trauma or experiencing abuse of any kind can also create lie-based beliefs that you end up seeking to medicate.  Others have been raised in a rigid or disengaged home.  They were taught to ignore their emotions and felt as if they always had to prove themselves worthy to be loved.

God doesn’t expect us to manage this on our own.  He’s not offended, shocked, or surprised by it.  Instead, He wants us to welcome Him in.  He desires us to pursue a relationship with Him.  His desire is to heal us, redeem us, and even restore us.  Sometimes, however, we must undergo a paradigm shift.

Victim to Victor

Without realizing it, you have remained a victim of your past.  Held in bondage to the beliefs you’ve had or the opinions of others has left you feeling like things will never change.  But now is the time that you must decide to become a victor.

Victory is not always easy.  In fact, it takes a significant amount of dedication and training to get the results that you wish to achieve.

It is time to wage war on the enemy and reclaim your identity!  You’ll have to suit up, deal with past trauma, and walk through the process of forgiveness.  This is not just about seeking forgiveness for yourself.  No, you will have to forgive others.  You may even have to forgive God, as so often we carry subconscious offenses towards Him.  We find it easier to blame Him for the pain in our lives than to surrender to Him in order to see how He desires to use that pain for His glory.

Called Out to Called Up

The Conquer Series calls you out of your secrets, sin, and shame.  It empowers you to take your thoughts captive and places your feet on solid ground where you can start healing from the brokenness of your past.  As you begin to understand the brain, you’ll recognize that though the enemy formed weapons against you within your own mind, they cannot prosper when surrendered to God.  At the conclusion of the Conquer Series, you’ll not only be battle-ready.  You will be ready to enter the war!

Warpath is where the rubber meets the road.  In this powerful, 29-week course, you are called up to a higher level than you ever thought possible.  You’ll gain knowledge and truth about rediscovering your identity and walking faithfully in it for the rest of your life.  And as you do this, you’ll begin to write a superhero story that is so amazing that your marriage and your family can begin to heal.  Dr. Doug Weiss shares,

“The guys who get well long-term, one of the most important separating factors, is they were willing to deal with their past.”

Friend, you are not the sum of your past mistakes.  Nor are you the sum of the things done to you.  This is your Warpath.  You get to choose to fight.  You get to choose to win.

Get started today at SoulRefiner.com!


The Conquer Series is a powerful cinematic series which is helping over 1 million men conquer porn and walk in freedom.


Get started, and order the Conquer Series today.


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