Welcoming the New Year with Hopeful Anticipation
Kayla Sullivan • Dec 12 2020
A common misconception about pornography continues to engulf the lives of many men and women. For many, they see it as harmless. What they often don’t realize is the amount of devastation that pornography brings.
It starts with an introduction, which may momentarily result in disgust. But then, it grows. Like a whisper in the night, it lures you back in. You become convinced that what you are doing is fine. After all, so many others seem to be doing it too. The desire is never satisfied but instead continues to grow. Like gasoline on a fire, acceleration can occur – propelling you even further into the depths of its grasp.
Your mind, as it has been groomed and desensitized, honestly believes that everything you are seeing is consensual. Before you know what is happening, you have lost yourself, destroyed your marriage, and torn your family apart. And if that’s not enough, these moments of clarity tend to force you to acknowledge that your behaviors contributed to the abuse and degradation of men, women, and children.
Hitting rock bottom as a result of sin is painful. But there is beauty that can be found in the midst of your despair.
Eddie Capparucci, a sexual and pornography addiction therapist at Abundant Life Counseling Center in Marietta, GA, recently wrote an article that illuminates the war that rages in one’s mind. He sheds light on the paradigm shift that must begin to take place in order for you to experience the healing that Christ died to offer. With his permission, we are sharing it with you.
“I have something I need to tell you,” said Daryl, a 32-year-old client who has been watching pornography since he was 13 and recently lost his job after being caught viewing it on his company phone. “The reason I have struggled to stop watching porn is because I like it. I’m ashamed to admit that to you but I genuinely enjoy watching pornography.”
My response to Daryl was a simple one, “Thank you for being courageous to share that with me. I appreciate your honesty.”
But my heart sunk as I thought what porn was doing to him and his peers, as well as thousands of women who have been used by the industry. I can understand Daryl’s feelings about porn because it provides extreme stimulation. But it comes at a price.
“People need to understand, there are REAL WOMEN on the other side of the camera.”
Pornography is slowing eroding our society. It is ruining the lives of women who find themselves in front of a camera engaging in sexual and degrading acts they could never imagine doing when they were young and innocent girls.
Men like Daryl are getting their thrills by objectifying and using women (and men) whose dreams and inspirations as a child did not include being porn actors.
I often ask men who tell me they see nothing wrong with porn, “Tell me the time you met that 12-year-old girl and asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, and she did not say a ballerina, a doctor, or an artist, but instead told you ‘I want to take my clothes off in front a camera and have sex with strange men and women.’”
I have yet to have a man admit they have met this young girl. Why? Because she does not exist! But even if they do stumble across her, I can guarantee someone(s) have hurt her very, very badly.
Women who often need to medicate themselves before the lights go on and the filming begins. Women who have been groomed, enticed, and sometimes forced into engaging in pornographic activities.
They are women who have suffered mental, emotional, and physical anguish at the hands of men in the porn industry who are concerned with one thing – making money. And they make money off the backs of these women, as well as the men and women who consume it. It is an industry that produces blood money gained by abusing people.
Much research has been done, and stories told, demonstrating how pornography destroys lives. Whether it is the individuals on camera, or consumers whose porn use results in relational issues, sexual dysfunctions, isolation, or legal consequences.
Despite the level of enjoyment porn brings for those who watch, one day it will all end. The euphoric feelings turn to shame and disgust. The sexual excitement shifts to sexual frustration. The sense of engagement becomes isolation, loneliness, and despair.
So, let us hear what else Daryl had to say during our session after admitting he enjoyed watching pornography. “I’m sitting here today because I have come to understand porn is ruining my life,” he commented. “I have lost a job I love, and my wife is repulsed by what I have done. We may end up divorced. I hate what I have become.”
“Plus, I now understand that I am victimizing the women who are part of the porn industry,” he continued. “I have two young daughters and to think they could get caught up in that filth makes me sick.”
Daryl, like many others who have been on the hamster wheel of pornography, has come full circle in his thinking about the stimulant that has rocked his world and caused his crash. Like millions of men who have had their awakening, he no longer professes an enjoyment for porn, but instead realizes it is a cancer that can destroy everything he loves.
Have you experienced the negative consequences porn brings? Or perhaps luckily you have not reached that point yet. But there is a way out of the cesspool, however, it is not a battle you can win by yourself. It will require you to be courageous enough to step out in faith to seek help and support.
If you have found yourself at the place of desiring freedom, you can start your journey to a better life right now.
The Conquer Series, a powerful 10-week course for men, was designed specifically for those who are ready to break the chains that enslave them to porn. Combining biblical and scientific principles, men are discovering the truth about what is happening in their brains. You will learn why your attempts at trying harder have always failed. And if you stay committed to the process, not only can you discover the hidden roots of your struggle, but you can step out of the darkness of shame and into victory as you learn your identity in Christ.
This life-transforming series is available at SoulRefiner.com, a newly released digital streaming platform that seeks to bring healing to individuals, marriages, and families. You can get started on your own, or you can request to join a group. Once you register, group leaders can reach out to you as new groups begin forming. Remember, as Eddie shared, this is not a battle that you can win by yourself.
Don’t wait until your life completely falls apart. Start your journey to freedom today at SoulRefiner.com!
The Conquer Series is a powerful cinematic series which is helping over 1 million men conquer porn and walk in freedom.
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